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Over brunch one day in Paris (where my husband and I now live—I'm American; he's British), we tell some friends about the planned birthday "present." One of them, a single British banker who's nearing 40 herself, grimaces and goes silent. We decide that the ideal candidate would be a sexy acquaintance. I get gussied up, and am pleased to see when I arrive that she has, too. Usually I'm so self-absorbed that my companion could be bleeding to death and I might not notice. Part of what I like about men, I realize, are the differences between us. There's a sweet moment at the end when the three of us lie together under the covers, with the birthday boy in the middle. I'll later get a series of heartfelt thank-you notes from him, saying it was as good as he had hoped. In theory, I didn't mind sharing my husband for an afternoon.

She'd be vetted (everyone knows acquaintances don't have herpes) but easy to avoid afterward. She's a friend of a friend I've met at dinner parties but whose name I can never remember. But the pursuit of the threesome has made me more attentive. I try to stay attentive—it's a birthday present, after all—but soon I'm just scratching their backs. I realize, with some alarm, that they're both probably more sexual than I am. "It affirmed for me how much I like the female form. On the walk home, she says she's surprised by how erotic she found the whole experience, especially being with me. But I feel like the Christian missionary who realizes—just after the big revival—that she's actually more of a Jew. I'd always felt that there might be something else out there.

There are essentially two routes here: a threesome with people you already know, or a threesome with strangers.

If you're already in a couple, inviting a friend to join you has a number of benefits: you already know that you like them, and hopefully you already have a decent idea of their sexual tastes so communicating about what you all want is going to be easier.

For the first time, I notice that she's quite pretty. She clings to boyfriends who mistreat her, convinced that she doesn't deserve them. This probably means that she's too emotionally fragile for a threesome, but I decide to broach the topic anyway, at least to get some practice.

On 'Hard Chat', her answers were balanced between sincerity and perfectly making fun of herself, and Gleeson met his match.

I've had quite a few threesomes: in some of them I have been a dick.

I need to get this out of the way because, when you're having a threesome, it's surprisingly easy to do this, so we must remain ever-vigilant against dickishness.

I have made many many mistakes - from childish jealousy of our third person to greedily hogging all the fingers.